Letter #3, July 19, 2001,

Dear Mom and Dad,

We're sitting in class putting condoms on wooden penises. This whole week has been sex and AIDS and abortion and condoms, and of course some parts of it have been more fun than others. Today has been pretty fun so far -- everyone definitely enjoyed getting our "demonstrative devices" and waving them around. I just hope the same ice-breaking tactic works in the village.

The day we talked about abortion was our first real day as PCVs. Up until now it's just been fun and games in French, at bars, and at schools, but when a bunch of super pro-choice women find out that there are no safe abortions, that at minimum 50 % of women have had abortions at least once, and that they use bleach and OD on chloroquine or stick plant stalks or pens or crochet needles to get rid of their babies, it's not pretty. At the beginning we were told we would be telling women not to have abortions and no one could believe it. How can we tell someone she doesn't have a choice? But after the presentations we realized that so many women die or seriously hurt themselves from self-abortions that we can't in good conscience even hint that abortion is an option. Better to keep the baby, because family here will almost always take it if the girl is too young. All the same, it's horrible. No choice. And plenty of women and young girls are doing this, it's everywhere, in many places the #2 health problem after malaria is complications from self-abortion.

So then we did HIV/AIDS and found out lots of women have sugar daddies who keep them fed and clothed (their kids too) in exchange for sex. And if a guy offers you 10,000 CFA ($12) you're gonna take it, with or without a condom. Amanda's sister has a Spanish guy who takes her out to nice places and takes care of her kids, but she's less a girlfriend than a kept woman. And it's usually more prestigious to be one of these women than to sell gateaux or fish or tresse hair to be financially independent. Oldest sisters feel like they're willing to sacrifice themselves for the sake of taking care of their younger siblings, especially when the parents are dead or too sick or old. It just sucks. So our job is to educate on ways to earn money besides sex, ways to avoid or lessen the risk of pregnancy and AIDS and STDs, because even doing a little bit is better than nothing. We're really doing this for Amanda's sister's kids, so that contraception and safe sex and being financially independent are accepted and understood by the time they're ready for it. Change is slow but already the younger people are more knowledgeable.

I've met more Malians and they are super nice of course. I'm having some skirts made and they also sell ginger and hibiscus juice :). I get to speak Bambara every day -- it's great! I miss Mali but I am learning more about culture and history here -- there are initiation ceremonies and hallucenogenic drugs (bark) and an epic song. Vampires and soul-eaters and fetishes and curses too. Still widely held beliefs, even with Catholics.

July 21 - I've been hanging out with Crystal, a PCV who's here this week, and last night a bunch of us went across the river to a new quarter to explore the bar scene over there. We found a great place that played Madonna and decent hip hop right on the river. No brochettes though. :( I've been eating a lot of grillades -- grilled chicken or beef with mayonnaise and lettuce and onions and tomatoes and hot peppers. Yum. I have yet to find coupé-coupé, but Crystal says it's a day thing, while grillades are an evening thing. Next to most every bar in town thre's some guy or girl grilling food. Cheap too - 1 mil ($1.50) for a 1/4 chicken and a big hunk of bread.

I'm getting fed up with Begonia because she throws tantrums every 2 minutes. So I'm not as often at home as before, and I think my mama's upset, but she knows if I'm out I won't be alone. Liz and Julie live in the neighborhood, and Alex the FARM trainer and whoever is doing the weekly training sessions (Abigail and Crystal) live 2 houses down, so I'm with several people always. It's not unsafe here, but it makes me feel better and my mama too.

Right now Jean Luc the PCMO is talking about parasites. We're passing around tapeworms and roundworms. Gabon has the lowest rate of worms, so don't worry! PC Gabon has really good health stats -- best in the region. Jean Luc rules and he's always saying how admin gets mad because he doesn't care about costs, he'll take planes and get there in half an hour and give you the expensive medicine.

It's hard to write a lot about what's going on because there's too much. I don't really know where to begin. Hopefully you got my big letter and the roll of film. I'm sure once I get to post I'll have more time to write -- we're just so busy in class and at lunch and more class-- then hanging out or errands. I don't have a desk in my room and it's stinky in there because I can't leave my door open. I'm having a great time hanging out with my stagemates after class and in the evenings sometimes -- now that we've been together for a month my personality is coming out or something and I'm enjoying myself with people and vice versa. My Gabonese friends are great and the facilitators are fun too -- it's nice when PCVs and fac's go out together. They're really our doorway into the culture because they really want us to do well and finish stage and get to COS (close of service) and not ET (early terminate.) People have money on who's gonna leave but I honestly think everyone's capable of making it. I know a few people are going to have it tough but if they adapt and accept and change they'll be fine.

I love Gabon -- I had a really bad homesickness for Mali the other night, but the more I get out and hang out and see things and do things and talk to people the more I feel like this could be my country, just like Mali. And I'm so psyched to be psyched all of the time. It can't last forever but if I can hang onto my excitement it'll get me through the sucky parts. Cuz they're coming. It's also fun to see everyone else changing and struggling and having fun too. I'm definitely extremely comfortable here and I may even be impressing the trainers, which is nice because they like hanging out with me and I can learn stuff from them. This week the PC chauffeur, who is sketchy, hit on me, subtly, which made me mad. So the next day I cornered him and chewed him out in French - if you do this again to me or anyone else I'll tell Helen and you'll be fired. We have to have a certain level of trust with staff and if we didn't have that, we have nothing. At first he denied everything but I repeated what he said and he ended up slinking away, tail between his lefs. It made me feel awesome.

Lots of love and send M & Ms!

Hannah